Reflections: Part II "Future Visions Songs"
Part II of my reflections is here. Part III is cooking.
βοΈππ βοΈππ βοΈππ βοΈππ βοΈππ
There comes a time in a manβs life where one needs to grow up and make oneβs own decisions. Not to please other people and meet their expectations, but because of oneβs own willing. Because continuing on the path of trying to please others at the expense of suppressing oneβs own desires is soul-destroying. (For some of us, this coming-of-age process is accelerated by life circumstances, e.g. premature passing away of oneβs parents. Iβm lucky to not have experienced this yet and I sincerely wish and hope my parents remain in good health for years)
This may be and probably is idealistic and selfish. Selfish, because the disregard for other peopleβs desires can hurt their feelings. Idealistic, because we donβt exist in vacuum, and many have children to take care of and other personal commitments.
Therefore, this may need to be a conscious choice for everyone based on their individual circumstances. Perhaps, the present me is more in the camp of egocentric me-me-me, and I will change my views at some later stage in life. The present me feels as if Iβve executed a part of my lifeβs script following pre-programmed commands of my loved ones or what Iβve grown to believe their expectations of me are. Now, not that I donβt love them any less, but I want to be in long-term peace with myself. The present-me philosophy is that without such peace, Iβll end up in a bitter bloody battle not only with myself but with everyone around me.
π΅πΌββοΈπΊπ― π΅πΌββοΈπΊπ― π΅πΌββοΈπΊπ― π΅πΌββοΈπΊπ― π΅πΌββοΈπΊπ―
At the start of my coaching sessions with David (www.viscoaching.com), whose support throughout has been extremely helpful, one of the assignments I took upon was writing out the possible visions of my future self. As the outcome, there was not just a single vision, but several visions that had some overlapping elements. Youβre seeing the storyboard version of these visions in these post. Interestingly, Iβve called the story boards the βSongs of the Future Visionsβ.
Now, these future songsβ visions didnβt just magically come about on a rainy day. Iβd say theyβd been brewing within for a long time. They were a culmination of nearly a year of self-exploration that I spent with some peaks and troughs at work, aided by a parallel self-discovery through reading books, completing psychology-themed courses on happiness and meaning.
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Below are the elements that I included in these future vision songs:
- Autonomy
- Travelling
- Performing
- Learning and Teaching
- Blogging
π§πΌββοΈ π§πΌββοΈπ§ββοΈ π§πΌββοΈ π§πΌββοΈπ§ββοΈ π§πΌββοΈ π§πΌββοΈπ§ββοΈ π§πΌββοΈ π§πΌββοΈπ§ββοΈ π§πΌββοΈ π§πΌββοΈπ§ββοΈ
Autonomy /ΙΛΛtΙnΙmi/. The following definition come up βthe right or condition of self-governmentβ or βfreedom from external control or influence; independenceβ.
Why autonomy? One of the many courses I completed posited that the secret formula of happiness can be abbreviated as MBA (pun intended). βMβ standing for βMasteryβ in what oneβs doing, βBβ β for belonging and connectedness to friends, family and society in general, and βAβ for autonomy.
Why did autonomy rank so high for me? It may be because in my then job I felt a bit out of control of my own destiny and future. My progression and career success depended largely on pleasing the clients and increasingly, what I felt was, playing into and by the internal company politics. You could argue I chose an easy way out by simply leaving my job and the company. Maybe, who knows. I choose to look at it as me taking my destiny into my own hands rather than it being controlled by the outcomes of my interactions with some client or manager.
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ππβοΈ ππβοΈ ππβοΈ ππβοΈ ππβοΈ
Travelling. Having lived in several countries and having spent good five years in London, the gypsy in me was getting a bit βFOMOβ (fear of missing out). One option was to comfortably settle in London and make it home. Itβs a great city, if not the greatest city on this planet! Iβve never got bored with it, and itβs a convenient hub to travel around Europe and the world.
But then I had this option to experience living in Australia which in my head is associated with great outdoors and having a beach or rather many of them at your doorstep. And this option was closing, I almost gave up on the idea of living in Australia.
However, in combination with me being increasingly frustrated at work, the stars aligned and I thought why not at least give this a go. Other ideas I considered were travelling the South East Asia or Latin America. These destinations are still on my list.
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ππ½πΊπΎππ½πΊπΎππ½πΊπΎππ½πΊπΎππ½πΊπΎππ½πΊπΎππ½πΊπΎππ½πΊπΎππ½
Performing. I wanted my future to include some elements of performing. I donβt quite know the inner workings of my psyche when it comes to performing and why I like it. Maybe, itβs because itβs stressful in a nice way, itβs always giving me a buzz of emotions. I used to be an extremely shy little boy growing up, so perhaps performing became a bit of a drug for me as Iβd get the buzz each time Iβd prepare to go on stage to sing. I also just love singing.
With my focus on career and other things, the singing gradually and surely took a distant backseat in my life with sporadic bursts here and there. Uprooting myself and moving countries every few years probably didnβt help either.
Just as I submitted my resignation letter, singing was the first thing I turned to. I then got really hyper excited when I discovered Smule. My only disappointment was when I found out that itβd existed for years without me even knowing! Things that go under your radar when your focus is elsewhere!
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Learning and Teaching. Continuous learning is important to me. Why? Maybe because of my upbringing and the influence that my maternal grandfather and my very academic mother had on me.
My grandfather was a biology teacher. I actually spent my first school year living with him and my grandmother in a small town of Uglegorsk. At the time, my parents were living in a tiny studio which they thought wasnβt conducive for studying. It was so tiny that they slept on the floor leaving the only bed to me and my brother. If they wanted to watch a movie, theyβd put a fabric curtain shield up.
I also explored with the idea of going into the academic world in one capacity or another. I just love being in a campus environment! I get energised from being surrounded by the students, professors, you name it. Maybe, itβs the romantic notion of being a student that I believe may never leave me. I donβt know how good a teacher I would be, but there is an element of teaching to me that is intricately linked with the above-mentioned performing.
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Blogging. I find that putting my thoughts on paper help me to structure my thoughts. Itβs also very meditative and itβs something that I can refer back to and compare my thoughts and feelings as the time passes. Itβs like taking a snapshot in time of yourself.
Just like with singing and performing, there is a part of me that believes sharing my thoughts can create some meaningful impact in the world by affecting how others think and feel. Especially, if they are facing the same questions as me. You, the reader, be the judge of this!
Perhaps, Iβve effectively subconsciously programmed myself on the execution of these visions. As now, when I look back at these storyboards, a lot of the things fall into place.
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One of the courses I completed in the course of my self-discovery journey asked a very good question: βWhat is your definition of success?β. It also posited that if we define success as a ladder, e.g. a career ladder, what if you get to the end of the ladder to only realise that you were climbing up the wrong one?
So, what does your success look like to you?
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